Nocturne
by D-chan
Summary: YamagiRooseRooseYamagi ? :: possible OOC, language, shounen ai :: Confusion and frustration slowly rise between two friends as one struggles to discover his feelings and the other strains to hold his own back.


**:: Nocturne ::**

by _D-chan_

Megami Kouhosei

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Yamagi+Roose/Roose+Yamagi (?)

Warnings: OOC, language, shounen ai

Disclaimer: Don't own MK or the characters, yadda yadda yadda. Okay? No suing? Good! ^_^

Notes: I decided to take a break from _Challenged for a Kiss_ as I've hit a small block on how to begin the next chapter and get back to this. I started it shortly after _Payback_ but never really got around to actually working on it. Hm. Go figure.

I'm not sure whether I'm going to continue this or leave it as it is. I kind of like it this way, but you never know. I might get inspired. *shrug* Though I really should get back to CfaK... ^^; Hehe...

Roose Sawamura collapsed to the floor, his knees giving out beneath him. He panted heavily, thinking about how much work it was more him now that he'd lost so much weight at one time. His body wasn't quite used to the change and didn't seem to want to keep up with the others anymore.

He brought his knees to his chest, glancing up as he heard the voices of three of his classmates. Zero, Clay and Yamagi walked right past him and he frowned faintly. Not only did they seem to get through Azuma's tough training much better than he did, they didn't really care if he made it or not.

Just as he thought that Yamagi Kushida paused and turned, glaring at him. "What's wrong with you?" he demanded and strode up to him, holding a hand out. Surprised, Roose took it and the shorter boy pulled him up, tilting his head back to look up at him. His scowl immediately deepened; Yamagi resented anyone taller than him.

"Thank you, Yamagi-kun," Roose said sweetly, smiling. He really did like the other boy; he wasn't as bad as he seemed and... Well, Roose just felt safe around him, that's all. Though Yamagi was always irritated when Roose clung to him, that didn't turn him away. He was used to that sort of behavior from people. It had happened to him his whole life.

"Whatever. You're too slow." It was then Yamagi seemed to realize he was still holding Roose's hand and he immediately pulled back, turning away. Roose didn't mind; the boy wasn't a touchy person like him. He understood.

"I'm sorry, Yamagi-kun. I'll try harder."

"Do as you please," was the short reply before the equally short boy once again walked away.

Roose let out a small sigh as he followed Yamagi. For someone so short, he walked rather fast and Roose had to walk faster than he was comfortable with so he wouldn't fall behind. Not to mention he was still a little winded from the run. All too soon he felt a stitch in his side, even before they reached the hallway that could lead either to their dormitory or the mess hall.

"Where are you going, Yamagi-kun?" Roose asked a little breathlessly.

Yamagi paused and turned to observe him, looking at him oddly. "Do you need to sit down?" he asked quietly, though no one was around to hear them. Yamagi didn't like to show his concern, he was afraid it would ruin the 'tough guy' image he so strived to uphold.

"No... I'm fine."

Yamagi didn't appear to believe him. "You hungry?" he asked instead of pressing. "Let's get something to eat."

"Okay!" Roose smiled brightly; their hesitation had helped him catch most of his breath. Perhaps that was what Yamagi had intended to do. He wasn't sure.

It was a little early, so not many candidates were there. There were a few pairs of girls scattered around, most of them chattering about their new partners. A small group of boys sat at a table on the other end of the hall, eating and laughing over something or another. Zero Enna wasn't in sight, which meant that things would be calm for the time being.

Roose caught Yamagi's arm as some people caught his eye. "Look, Yamagi-kun," he said. "It's Wrecka-chan and Tsukasa-san!" He didn't notice Yamagi's flinch but he did feel him wrench his arm away.

"I'm not going anywhere near those two freaks," he stated flatly before hurrying off to get some food.

Roose frowned faintly. Wrecka, his partner, didn't seem like a 'freak' to him. In fact, she was very sweet, even if she did startle him when she occasionally slipped into her maniacal fit of laughter.

Wrecka seemed to notice him, too. "Roose!" she called, waving and smiling sweetly. Roose waved back, blushing a little. She was in a good mood... That meant she was more than likely to surprise him with something tonight. Oh, dear...

... It occurred to him, then, that Yamagi was no longer at his side. He'd noticed before but hadn't been paying attention. With a small squeak Roose hurried to get his meal as well and join his fellow candidate at the table, taking his usual seat across from him comfortably.

Yamagi acknowledged his presence with a question. "You're not going to join them?"

Roose smiled, not hearing the bitterness that clung to the edges of Yamagi's words. "No. I'll have time to spend with Wrecka-chan later... Tonight." His voice faltered slightly when Yamagi stiffened. "Yamagi-kun?" When he didn't get an answer right away, he pressed on. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Yamagi snapped, so suddenly it appeared to startle them both. "Shut up and eat, Roose."

"... Okay." Roose watched Yamagi as he ate, wondering why the boy was so uptight.

... Then a blush started to rise on his face as he wondered--

"Hello!" a cheerful voice said, cutting through his thoughts and startling him so badly he immediately lost the extra color in his face. Zero grinned at him as he took a seat on the other end of the table, Clay soon joining him. "What's up? That was some tough training today, huh?"

Yamagi smirked faintly, shooting Zero a look. "You didn't seem to have any problems, did you?" he asked challengingly.

"Of course not!" Yamagi's smirk died and he rolled his eyes in exasperation, glancing at Roose as though to say, 'What an idiot.' Roose simply smiled.

"Where's Hiead?" Roose asked, trying to make conversation as heavy silence fell upon the table.

"Who knows?" Zero replied airily, taking a bite out of the strange purple mush on his tray and making a face. "Ugh... Why don't we get real food?" he grumbled.

"Why do you whine so much?" Yamagi asked in annoyance. "You're worse than Roose."

Roose blinked. Did he really whine that much?

"Well, that's not a nice thing to say in front of our friend, here, is it?" Zero asked, giving Roose a wink. Once again, Roose smiled but this time it was more confused than anything else.

Yamagi's reaction was to blush and mumble something under his breath before standing up and leaving, completely forgetting his tray at the table. "Yamagi-kun?" Roose called, puzzled. Too late. The boy had left and was probably halfway to their dormitory by now. Roose sighed and poked at his food, suddenly not very hungry. For some reason, Yamagi's absence made him less enthusiastic about everything.

Clay noticed. "Not hungry?" he asked curiously.

"Um... No." Roose smiled. "I'm probably just tired... You know, all that running..."

"Yes, I do agree that your stamina has lowered considerably since you came back after losing all that weight," Clay said thoughtfully. Zero seemed content just eating and listening in on their conversation until he spotted Kizna and called out to her, grinning and shouting enthusiastically about the intense training that day. His response was a roll of Kizna's pretty violet eyes.

"Tell me," Clay began, ignoring Zero, "What you think of Yamagi?"

Roose blinked. What a strange question. "Well... He's great. I... I mean, he's pretty mean sometimes, especially when he kicks me, but I don't mind, really. I know he's nice. He's great... He'd be a great pilot, too."

"Hmm."

Roose found his face reddening as he continued to speak, a stammer slipping into his voice. "He... He's really pretty nice to me in private. I... I mean he... You know, he wants to keep his image and... And I... I probably don't help him much, so I can kind of understand _why_ he would kick me sometimes--"

"That's great," Clay interrupted hastily, "But what about Wrecka?"

Roose was thoroughly confused now. How did Wrecka fit into this? "Sh-She's great."

"That's it? Just great?" It seemed Zero had stopped bragging long enough to get the gist of what was going on, though Roose still had _no_ idea what the two were trying to get at.

"Well... Yeah."

Clay pushed his glasses up with his middle finger. "Very interesting," he murmured.

Roose decided he definitely wasn't hungry. He stood up, picking up Yamagi's forgotten tray and heading over to the trash, dumping them both in and making a quick mental apology to the cook.

Clay's questions got him thinking, wondering what he had been trying to get at. But like they usually did, his thoughts branched off to Yamagi and his strange behavior.

When he entered their room, he wasn't surprised to see Yamagi there. He was surprised, however, to see him sitting cross-legged on Roose's bed instead of his own, staring off into space with a filmy glaze over his eyes.

"... Yamagi-kun?"

Roose's voice had barely been a whisper, but it had been enough to make Yamagi start and turn to look at him. "Oh. Back already?"

Roose shrugged, managing a small smile for the other boy. "I wasn't hungry."

Yamagi snorted. "You'll need the energy if you're going to be doing what I think you are," he said flatly.

What did he think he was going to do?

Yamagi rolled his eyes at the blank look on Roose's face. "Have sex with Wrecka, stupid."

"Oh!" Roose blushed furiously. "I... I don't... We don't exactly..."

Yamagi got the gist. "Sex, foreplay, not much of a difference," he muttered, standing up and wandering into the bathroom, leaving Roose blushing and trying to come up with something to say in the awkward situation. The sound of water running told him his roommate was washing up before bed; he should be doing the same.

Roose stood in the doorway of the bathroom, face still quite pink and watching Yamagi as he ran a hand through his spiky purple hair, his hands still wet, then turned to dry them with a towel. Droplets of water trickled down the side of his face but he didn't seem to notice.

"What?" he asked gruffly, not looking at Roose even as he brushed past him and started digging around for the usual G.O.A. sleep attire.

Roose wasn't sure what to say, but finally came up with a question. "Are you mad at me?" It came out weak and hesitant, his signature whine clinging to the words like frost to glass.

"..." Yamagi paused then looked at him, one of his rare, thoughtful expressions in place. "No," he finally said. "I'm not mad at you."

"... Are you upset with me?" Roose couldn't shake the feeling that Yamagi was displeased for some reason.

"Not exactly." This time the reply was hesitant and sharp at the same time, warning Roose not to push him. But he pressed on, desperately wanting to know what he did wrong.

"Does it have something to do with me?"

The immediate response was a pillow to his face, startling Roose so badly he fell to the floor. "Yes," Yamagi said, his voice now cold. "Now get out of here before that woman comes looking for you."

"Does it have something to do with Wrecka?"

"Yes," Yamagi growled impatiently, pulling his nightshirt over his head almost angrily.

"... With what we're doing?"

Yamagi turned to him, glaring. "Goddamn it, Roose! Yes, yes, and for the last fucking time, yes! Now shut up before I--" He cut himself short, looking surprised then angry with himself. He muttered something Roose couldn't hear and stormed to his bed, flopping down on it so he could practice his death glare on the ceiling.

Roose hesitantly crawled over to the side of Yamagi's bed, peering over at him as he rested his chin on the side. "... Yamagi-kun?"

At first he thought the shorter boy wasn't going to answer, but he finally heaved a tired sigh and muttered, "What?"

"You... You're my friend."

Yamagi blinked and sat up, looking at Roose oddly, his lips twitching. Then he laughed. Roose felt vaguely proud of that laugh. "Thanks, I guess," he responded when his laughter died down.

Roose beamed. "You're welcome, Yamagi-kun."

"I thought you had to meet Wrecka?"

"I don't want to." That slipped out before Roose could even think about it. His response surprised himself and he immediately clapped his hands over his mouth, looking edgily at the door as though Wrecka would burst in any moment.

Yamagi rolled his eyes before a random voice said over the intercom, "Lights out in five minutes."

Roose made a move to stand but Yamagi stopped him. "Good," he said firmly. "You're not going with Wrecka tonight. You're sleeping in here like you're supposed to."

He was unsure what to say to that. "But--"

"You said you didn't want to go. So don't. Don't let her walk all over you, Roose." With that Yamagi eased himself back down, closing his eyes as he made himself comfortable on his bed.

Roose nodded once before he began to change and wash up, using the remaining few minutes he had to do so.

Yamagi was watching him, a strange little smile on his lips. When Roose finally noticed, the smile disappeared as though he were trying to pretend it hadn't been there at all. "Are you okay, Yamagi-kun?"

The other boy nodded once. "You ought to get to bed before the lights turn out." Roose nodded and crawled onto the said furniture, smiling over at his friend.

"Good night, Yamagi-kun." Then he lay down, pulling the cool, hardly used sheets over his body. The lights flickered off and then a familiar voice murmured:

"Night, Roose."

Roose flushed with pleasure, happy that, for once, Yamagi had said the phrase in return. It wasn't _exactly_ the phrase he wanted to hear (though Roose himself wasn't sure what he wanted to hear) but it was nice to hear Yamagi say it, especially since it did it so rarely.

However...

Roose watched until his roommate fell asleep then slipped out of bed as quietly as he could. Tapping in the code to unlock the door, he made a mental apology to him before dashing down the corridors. Wrecka was going to be so mad he was late...

* * *

Roose didn't see Yamagi for two days, as the next day was their day off and Wrecka insisted on helping him shape up (and he needed to, badly; he'd fallen so far behind since he'd lost all that weight). The next day he awoke early and slipped out while Wrecka was still asleep, hoping to get a decent breakfast before she woke up.

To his surprise, he found Yamagi in the Relaxation Room afterwards (he himself liked to go there whenever he could; it was so pretty and peaceful). The shorter boy was sprawled out on the grass, his head tilted back slightly and his eyes closed, hands resting beneath his head. A very small, very rare smile lit his face and Roose confirmed him to be asleep.

Roose took a seat beside him, watching the boy with great interest. Yamagi seemed to sense his presence, however, and stirred. His dark eyes opened, appearing to be mildly surprised to see Roose. Then he grunted and sat up. "Hey."

Roose smiled sweetly a little disappointed the boy had woken up. He'd looked happier asleep. "Good morning, Yamagi-kun."

This time he didn't reply, just scowled as he pinned a hard stare on the other boy. Roose flinched slightly, trying to keep his smile. It was hard. "Did I do something wrong?"

"You," Yamagi said softly, "Snuck out to see that woman. Again."

Roose hesitated, stumbling over his words. "I... She was... She was kind of mad, Yamagi-kun..."

"She acts that way because you let her. Goddamn, Roose, you let people walk all over you!" Yamagi spat in disgust, quickly getting to his feet. Roose scrambled to follow the boy as he stalked out.

"I... I'm sorry," he said meekly. "I just--"

"If I didn't know you so well, I'd say you lied when you said you didn't want to see her," he interrupted coldly. "But you're just pathetic."

"Why are you so mad?"

A muscle in Yamagi's face twitched. "Forget it," he said shortly as they came to a stop just outside a door. It slid open with a _swish_ and Yamagi went in before Roose could think of a reply. He was worried, though. Why was his friend so upset? Wrecka was Wrecka... Roose couldn't help that.

Inside, most of them were already there. Hiead Gner, candidate 87 was off in one corner, as usual, with his partner Ikhny Allecto hovering nervously a few feet away beside Kizna Towryk. Clay and his partner Saki Mimori were engaged in some conversation or another and Clay was paying rapt attention to whatever his clever partner was saying. Yamagi wasn't very far away from him, though he did look a bit edgy when glancing at his partner, Tsukasa Kuscha. The only people that hadn't shown up yet were Zero Enna (candidate 88) and Wrecka.

Or maybe not. Wrecka walked in just then, standing before Roose with her hands on her hips and looking at him concernedly.

"I woke up and you weren't there," she said, loud enough for anyone to hear. "Why did you leave?"

Roose blushed and felt Yamagi shoot him a dark, warning look. "I..." He couldn't think of something to say, but Wrecka smiled.

"It's all right, Roose. Just wake me up before you leave next time, right?"

"O-okay."

Yamagi made a sound of disgust and disbelief, folding his arms over his chest much in a similar manner Hiead did and scooted away from Roose to make himself comfortable against the nearest wall.

Roose blinked in confusion, but before he could do or say anything Azuma strode in, glancing around. He sighed heavily. "Eighty-eight is late again?" he muttered, not expecting an answer. "No matter; he'll show up." His tone suggested that Zero had better or else; that meant this was something he didn't want the boy to miss. Roose was forced to busy himself with the day's training instead of wondering about Yamagi's odd, odd behavior.

* * *

Warm... Warm lips touched his, the action chaste but still aggressive. It was an unfamiliar feeling to him; he'd never been kissed like that before.

Wait; scratch that. He was being kissed by a _guy_. That sure as hell had never happened before, either.

But... _'Mm... It's... Really nice...'_

He tried to open his eyes, but held back. He wanted to see _who_ was kissing him, but if he saw... He was afraid whoever it was would stop and leave, retreat, never to come back. He didn't want to be left alone like that...

Roose whimpered softly in his sleep, shifting in his bed. Unknown to him, Yamagi Kushida sat up in his own bed, watching silently. One hand supported his chin as he watched the other boy, a smile flitting across his lips. He so longed to hug the boy, to be the one to hold him, comfort him and even kiss him... Not Wrecka. No, he really disliked her for that.

Disliked, not hated. Yamagi tried not to hate anyone, even Hiead... No matter how hard it was.

Roose seemed to have calmed again, slipping back into his deep state of dreams. Yamagi hesitated, staring and wondering. Did he dare...?

He did. Slowly, carefully, he slid out of bed, easing the springs so they wouldn't creak. Barefoot and shivering (the floor was solid metal and ice cold so late at night) he made his way to the other boy's side.

Calloused hands touched slimmer ones, holding them almost affectionately. Roose didn't even stir, much to his relief. It was always hard not to simply jump on the boy and kiss him, though he did fantasize about doing it more often than he was sure was healthy for him.

One hand reached out, gently running tanned fingers through dark, soft and mussed hair. It was a rare night when Roose stayed behind to sleep in his own bed as he should, and on each of those nights he took as much advantage of it as he dared. Even before the boy had disappeared before losing so much weight, he'd always found it very hard not to lay awake at night, watching him, wondering.

He longed to kiss the boy, but this night didn't dare. Once or twice before he had stolen one, but always felt guilty about it later. Perhaps it was just the fact he never had the other boy's permission and felt he was treading on forbidden territory. Since the last time he had done so, he did his best to refrain himself. It was hard. But he could handle it; nothing was too hard for him to handle.

These nocturnal affections scared him, as he could only get this close to the boy in the dark. In broad daylight there was too much a chance of Wrecka finding out -- in which he knew she wouldn't hesitate to rip his throat out -- or even Tsukasa. Tsukasa just scared him. And besides, she didn't need to know any more than she already did. How she knew so much was creepy.

Maybe...

He decided it couldn't hurt. After all, the boy was dead asleep. He wouldn't be waking up anytime soon.

Yamagi touched Roose's hair again, leaning forward to press a quick kiss on his forehead. He pulled back, somewhat satisfied. _'See? That won't hurt... Anyone could kiss him like that and not be embarrassed about it. Anyone.'_

Maybe that was why he didn't feel _completely_ satisfied... But at least he didn't feel guilt. He hated that feeling. It never went away, even after the problem had been resolved. It always lingered.

Roose looked so innocent and sweet, but Yamagi was one of the few people that saw past his Innocence Barrier (Wrecka being another candidate able of doing so). But even if he wasn't as completely innocent as Yamagi would have liked, he was still too sweet, too trusting and got too attached to any and everyone.

... And cute. Roose was very cute.

Yamagi allowed his fingers to linger on the sleeping boy's hand before he pulled back. If he stayed there much longer he might wake the boy, and after narrowly escaping such an incident once, he wasn't very enthusiastic of challenging it again. If Roose woke up he... Well, he didn't know what he'd do, but it would be pretty damn embarrassing.

"Good night, Roose." The words were soft, barely even a whisper, as Yamagi edged away from the boy's bedside. He crawled back under the now cool sheets of his own bed, running a hand through his spiky violet hair before he glanced over at Roose again. He relaxed; the boy hadn't and still showed no signs of having been awake or hearing him. Good, very good. He wouldn't have to fear a confrontation from Wrecka in the morning.

Yamagi tried to make himself comfortable, keeping his eyes fastened to the ceiling in an almost fascinated manner. Slowly, his eyes closed. Sleep was good; sleep would take him away from the lonely reality and thrust him into the blissful dreamland, the same place he could confront the boy he loved face-to-face and all would come out well.

Without dreams, he didn't know what he'd do. They were, after all, one of the only things keeping him alive.


End file.
